I love giving presents. I'd much rather give then receive. I never do well on the receiving side, I can get awkward and uncomfortable with compliments and presents and just don't know how to accept with ease {but,I'm working on it!} . The planning process of creatively trying to nail those unique, personalized, one of a kind gifts for the special people in my life makes me all giddy. These are the presents I wrap and give with love, gratitude and appreciation.On the flip side, there are those obligatory presents that I just dread. They aren't for family members, nor for friends, nor the bottle of wine we give to the Post Master . It's for those people you see out of circumstance, the friend of a friend, or maybe the colleagues, the boss, the people down the street, so on an so forth, and each year the list gets longer. The ones you know will judge you for not giving them anything, the ones you also know will most likely judge the price tag of the 'gift' you give them.
Do you feel the pressures of gift giving, or have you been able to set some unwritten rules for your gift giving, without feeling like the Grinch? ;)
bleh!!! this stuff is so tricky! this year with the economy in the shitter, i noticed people (including me!) have been more bold. my brother has been unemployed for nearly a year, so given that fact we are going with really cheap and/or hand made gifts this year in my family. YAY! so many others are feeling the pinch, so i just straight up asked/told some friends that we might want to skip the gifts this year. they agreed wholeheartedly. whew! it is kind of a relief. it is hard to get to all that needs to be done this time of year, and scrapping some gifts altogether sounds lovely to me.
ReplyDeletei probably sound like a SCROOGE, but whatever! it is great to give when budgets and time allow, and when gifts are heartfelt. the phony/obligatory stuff is FOR THE BIRDS. BLEH!
i used to feel the pressure. my christmas list would go on for days! now, i don't worry about the not so important peeps in my life. i don't expect gifts from them so why should they expect from me?! silly people. lol.
ReplyDeleteAs I've gotten older we've tended to hold back on the obligatory gifts, because well...my heart's not in it and I just can't bring myself to do it anymore.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I love the planning - finding that perfect present you know he/she is going to love and seeing his/her expression when receiving it. It's priceless!
Mercifully eveyone knows im not at all emotionally sentimental or compelled to give christmas presents. I guess its because the time of year was always more religious than fun to my family. Chirstms is about church (ok ok and the tree :P) for me. For the kids in my family I dont mind going all out but for adults.. we tend to only buy presents on birthdays.
ReplyDeleteI also do prefer giving.. especially when you see a little kids face light up at a well wrapped present.
I do for teachers, teachers aids, administrators, the list goes on...
ReplyDeleteI did feel the presure this year. My 2 little girls wanted those stupid Zhu Zhu pets. I couldn't find them anywhere. But they have been recalled and now I am glad I didn't get one.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know, believe me I know. It's hard, too, when people are totally out of sync with budget limits. My brother-in-law gets my father-in-law an iPod Touch, while we we get him a book.
ReplyDeleteWe love him just as much, but we can't afford a 100 dollars or more a gift. We just can't.
Hard.
This year...
ReplyDeleteOur family had totally decided not to give material gifts!
Just to my niece and nephew.
At first the news was sad...GIFTS have always been such a special...anticipated...part of our Christmas holiday.
But now...that I don't have any gifts to buy...I am loving it!
And I like you...don't feel comfortable having to open gifts in front of others...but I do love to give.
...my parents say this is not going to be a forever CHANGE...just this year!
XXOOXX
our family only busy for the kids now. adults don't need anything. my MIL used to organize a system in which one couple bought for another couple and so on, but her minimum limit was $200 per couple which was outrageous. so now we buy for the kids only and everyone is happy :)
ReplyDeleteI get so uncomfortable getting presents. Thinking of it now, gives me that dull pain in my stomach. I used to freak out about work related presents. Like what if someone buys me something and I dont have anything for them. Total anxiety...I do, however, love giving gifts. I get so excited about finding the perfect gift!
ReplyDeletePresents are hard; I always feel pressure to buy too much, but that is also because I love giving gifts. I also love receiving, lol, who doesn't! It is fun finding the perfect gift but I shouldn't spend so much because I always go broke in the process. Lol.
ReplyDeleteYup, I do feel the pressure of gift giving .. Wondering if they will like my presents of course!
ReplyDeleteSince we have kids we just tell family to get the kids things and just not to worry about us, that way we dont have to get them anything either...
ReplyDeleteFTA - The kids make the family homemade gifts/ornaments =)
ReplyDeleteI used to feel the pressure... for sure. It's a little easier now that I went back to school. People seem to give me a free pass since they know I'm completely broke and living on student loans.
ReplyDeleteI have narrowed down my list!! Love to give just have a hard time figuring out what to give!!
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel the pressure on my husband's side of the family. They have done a gift exchange for years, which sounds economical and fun, however they keep upping the price and this year it is $100 a person. That means my husband and I have to buy gifts for 2 people at $100 each! It's insane! Yes, I know that means we will also receive gifts of the same amount but $200? I barely spend that on my entire side of the family. So I'm a grinch about that, but otherwise I absolutely love giving presents, even more than getting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog recently. I love yours, am now following and looking forward to reading more.
I don't sweat the small stuff. I don't worry about it. If they don't appreciate the thought, they don't deserve the gift!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I usually (begrudgingly) wait until December 24th. I hate having to buy all those gifts! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI don't have a problem with it. You should give presents because you want to not because you feel obligated to. If I don't want to then I won't. I have my family and a few close friends that I buy special gifts for then I have far away friends that I mail cards too but... I've never felt obligated to give a friends friend a present..that in it's self would be awkward to me.
ReplyDeleteI don't get too much pressure lately...I've learned to stick to the budgets. It may sound trivial but it's always the thought that always counts. Personally I prefer to receive gift certs...much happier! xo*
ReplyDeleteI used to go through this a lot. Like what I need to buy for my boss, my co-worker, my friend that I only see every so often. But in the past few years, I've just narrowed it down and made my list of who to get stuff for and if I don't feel like they make the list then I just don't feel bad about it anymore. Nobody has the money these days to spend on those kinds of gifts so I don't mind if I don't get anything either!
ReplyDeleteI only give to those whom I feel my heart strings tugging to give to! And most of the time, this is a long list....yet this doesn't always mean the gift given is something purchased. For me, it is the thought that counts!
ReplyDeleteI give gifts to my immediate family and then we do a gift exchange game with extended family so we only have to bring one gift. It's a relief to cut down on the holiday shopping. For the tricky ones, I usually just send a card with a nice little message. Since they don't expect a gift, I think the gesture is well received. For coworkers, I'm planning on doing a lot of holiday baking this weekend and bringing it all to work with some to-go containers so they can make their own cookie tray to bring home.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean! I keep convincing myself that personalized gifts are the way to go, so I end up making several gifts and other hand made things for gifts. I also try to convince myself that it's more cost efficient... it's so totally not.
ReplyDeleteI find it hard trying to find things to buy for everyone, as I try to find things that they are actually going to use and want but trying to do that to budget is very difficult.
ReplyDeleteI still feel pressure because I feel like even if money is tight, I owe those around me gifts that aren't cheap so I think I spend more than I need to in order to make people happy.
ReplyDeleteGetting gifts can be quite tricky! I definitely feel the pressure because I want to buy something that the other person would love! So that's how I drive myself crazy:P
ReplyDeleteOh yes, holiday shopping.. Gosh, I'm already getting nervous and I haven't bought anything yet except a kitchen set for my little daughter.
ReplyDeletePressure is on!
Thanks so much for stopping by:)
xoxo
You're right sometimes is sooooooooo much pressure....
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for visited my blog and left such nice note.
Keep in touch if you feel like it
xoxo
Giving gifts is fun and I like looking for the perfect present, but I don't "just" give gifts. It has to be from the heart or I don't do it. Sometimes people feel hurt or insulted by it and of course I don't intend to. It's nothing personal after all. It just depends on the situation. I've never really thought of it as rules, but I guess my gift giving rules would be:
ReplyDelete1. I don't give gifts for the sake of keeping up appearances. Sometimes I don't give anything for my own reasons and then it's nothing personal, and sometimes it is. People sometimes to take it as an insult but there's nothing I can do. (Of course when I show up at a birthday party I always bring something; there's no point in showing up if you're not willing to spend some gift-money on the birthday boy/girl.) I'm also not very keen on pretending to like someone. Business-wise I understand, but otherwise no.
2. I don't give gifts at inappropriate times. For example, after missing or skipping a birthday I'm not going to give a gift if our meeting is not for the sake of after-celebration. Perhaps I would if the meeting takes place not too long after the birthday date, but more than two weeks after? No.
3. I don't give gifts for any other reasons than taking pleasure in giving it. Same goes for fees.
4. I don't spend more money on a gift than I can spare at that moment.
It may sound a little harsh but it really works. With these boundaries I never have to feel guilty and I never have to wonder about the amount of money to spend.
This is the first year I've even felt this pressure, as a lot of my classmates/friends seem to expect gifts for Christmas. I just don't have the money to buy gifts for all those people, even little things! {that's what $1000 of unexpected car repairs will do to a student budget, ugh}.
ReplyDeleteMy philosophy is really simple, and even if other people are offended I'm not planning to change it. If you are a) immediate family or b) best friend that is more like a sister you get a Christmas gift. Everybody else gets nothing (or a card maybe, if I'm on top of things that year). Everybody gets a birthday gift.
When I have a job, the gift category will expand to include my boss, secretary, and any particularly close co-workers. That's it.
i love buying presents and giving!
ReplyDeletei am a bit stressed this year about what to buy people. one of my besties and i decided this year instead of buying each other gifts just to spend an entire day together :) i can't wait for that!
when it comes to my bosses, i never know what to buy them. they have too much money and everything they want....the pressure mounts with them ;)
i hope you have a good weekend hun!!
Ummm....I buy for those I WANT to. I don't for those I don't. If someone gets me something and I didn't know they were going to, I say THANK YOU, I LOVE IT, and then just say, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything, I had no idea we were exchanging gifts...and then I let it go, because no reason you should beat yourself up over someone surprise gifting you!
ReplyDeleteI also always buy a couple things....that are awesome things I'd like to have for myself (ie: this really awesome bracelet i got on sale at Macy's a few weeks ago) but I keep in in a bag, just incase i need an emergency gift for someone, if x-mas comes and goes and I don't need it, come January, HEATHER'S getting a new bracelet! yay! win win i say!
~hl~
{www.hoscorners.blogspot.com}
There's a core group of us that are friends, and we do a Secret Santa gift exchange. For other people, if it's been a bad year, I warn them that it's only something small.
ReplyDeleteIf someone gets me a gift and I don't have anything in return, I'd much rather be honest and sincerely thank them and say, "I'm sorry that I don't have anything to give you in return, but I'd love to treat you to coffee or have you over for dinner." That usually suffices. And if it's someone I'm not close to, and they bought me a gift to inch their way into my life...Meh. It's not worth it to feel guilty or feel like you have to reciprocate that level of energy.
Guilt should not come with giving or getting presents!
i only shop for family and b. friends don't really get gifts (at least not on christmas). it's kind of and unspoken rule with many of my friends (b/c that could get really expensive!) i hate feeling obligated to do anything so i simply don't. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Iva, I know exactly what you mean! We do a secret santa in our family and this year I happened to have pulled out my cousins boyfriend, whom she has been dating for like 2 second - why on earth would I want to buy a gift for someone I have never met, when I could be buying for my grandparents, parents, cousins, nephew etc etc. I am not looking forward to buying this present - but now that I have said that out loud (well kind of), I feel like the grinch too! Love the pic, wish my pressies looked this good! xox
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the giving - always much more fun!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://candyflosspersie.blogspot.com/
I only give gifts to those that I feel are important to me, however that makes it even harder, because I want to get them just the right gift!
ReplyDeleteHey there - Thank you for visiting my blog today and for the comment. I agree, I LOVE presents, love love love, love getting and giving. Gifts are fun. But never know the appropriate amount of enthusiasm and thanks, am better at receiving than giving. I get what you are saying!
ReplyDeleteHappy holidays, good luck gift shoppping, and I hope you get some fun things for yourself as well!
- J
Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. You rock!
ReplyDeleteI am like you. I love to give a thoughtful gift but I hate receiving gifts. I feel so awkward, with the person looking at me waiting to see my reaction.
I'm with you on this one, I feel so awkward receiving gifts!! I do love to give though but that can be stressful too, trying to find the right present :)
ReplyDeletei get very uncomfortable unwrapping presents and knowing i am going to have to possibly fake joy and happiness infront of the giver. uhhh i just feel like i must be over the top and it comes off all wrong!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the giving part--so much fun! The receiving--meh, I'm not too good at it either. I have started volunteering with friends around the holidays...it's a good way to spend time together and then we all feel good. Skipping the material stuff and giving your time (which is limited and valuable) I think really shows you care.
ReplyDelete