Friday, December 4, 2009

Fun, Fearless, Female: Sexy Confidence

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"I'm an open book. I'm not about intimidating women or making them feel like less than what they are."

Jelly Belly and I went to the pediatricians this morning, spending the majority of our time in the waiting room, full of other moms and their completely congested little ones enthusiastically sharing germs with one another. I kept getting 'that feeling' of someone staring at me. Every time I would turn around this woman was burning a hole through me. Measuring me from head to toe, each article and accessory on me.

It is what it is. I know there tends to be some odd competition between women, a 'she has vs. I have' draw and may the best accessorized woman win. While I know this is reality, it still makes me want to ask, "would you like to borrow my {insert eyed piece/accessory here}" with each glare that is not followed by a "OMG! I love your ___________, where did you get it?"

I can not stand a woman making another feel less of herself by intimidation or judgment it's simply ugly and unsexy. Never let another persons 'haves', give you the feeling of 'have not'. You just might be 'comparing' yourself to someone who would never make you feel that way if you were friends with them.

Happy Friday Friends!

48 Fabulous People:

  1. whoops. i tried to leave a comment, but not sure if it made it through? blogger is doing some weird stuff to me today!

    p.s. you can delete this if the previous comment of mine came through!

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  2. Could not agree more! I sometimes find myself staring, not even intentionally, but if I catch myself, I at least try to give a genuine smile. Consider it a compliment though -even if she failed to make it one.

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  3. OMG i hate that crap too! and it happens ALL THE FRIGGEN TIME! GRRRR!

    can't believe they do it in from of their kids too. what a way to set an example. hmmm.

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  4. I never understand that about women! Why dont we unite as women instead of judge each other?!

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  5. I guess it's normal for women to eye the competition... it's just how women are. Don't get intimidated. She's eyeing you because you look fab.

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  6. "You just might be 'comparing' yourself to someone who would never make you feel that way if you were friends with them."

    This is very true, how many times that we judge book by it's cover?

    Cool blog that you have here! :)

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  7. I tend to just care how someone acts and not what they're wearing.

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  8. Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I could not agree more, we should not make other women feel less than what they are.

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  9. I really have nothing else to say except I love this post.

    XOX.

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  10. so true. jealousy is not a good look on anyone. :)

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  11. YAHOO!! Although I am NOT a woman that any one gives glares to (54 year old grandma, forty lbs. overweight, dressed in sweats with no makeup 90% of the time), I SOOO hate the fact that we women can be our own worst enemies!!

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  12. Once I got caught staring, and I could over hear the girl say to her friends, "omg, that girl keeps staring at me!" I felt so bad, because I wasn't doing it in a snarky way - she was just stunning.

    I've been the subject of a judge-y stare, too, and it feels terrible. Ladies, let's all be on the same team, yeah?!?!

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  13. amen. I hate that ...I'm so much more about a compliment than a stare down ..but I get it all the time. It's hard not to let it affect you though. Nice post lady :)

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  14. great post. i can't stand getting stared down. it's unnerving and can suddenly make me feel self conscious.

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  15. I always ask where someone gets their stuff from lol so is that a bad thing? or a good thing? I just seem to love bits and pieces that others have!! Omg like the other day my friend had this glo mesh purse, and I was like "Omg so cute, whered you get it from?" and it was actually her monthers from the 80s!!! a vintage glo mesh purse~! so jealous! but so happy that she had such a gorgeous item :D

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  16. Iva ~ I have a really hard time trying to "put myself in their shoes" when it comes to that line of thinking. I see something i like on someone, I make a mental note to go online and try to find where I can get one. I'm always grateful when I see someone wearing something I like...cuz then, I see how it looks in the real world...on a real person as opposed to a mannequin in a store or a page in a magazine.

    The whole jealousy bit, it must a gene or something that some women just inherit. Maybe it's a petty gene.

    THANK GOD NONE OF "US" HERE HAVE IT! :)

    Have a great weekend Iva...and don't worry about the haters...they'd hate you either way, it's just their nature. If they didn't hate you for what you have, they'd hate you for what you didn't!

    *hugs & Luv*
    ~hl~

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  17. thanks so much for your lovely comment!

    your blog is great =]

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  18. I love your post!! I do find myself staring at pretty women from time to time...maybe their shoes, hair, purse, makeup, clothes etc. But I always try to smile and tell them what I like. I am sure she was thinking about how pretty you are!

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  19. you couldn't have said it better. have a great weekend!

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  20. I hate that too! She was just captivated by your beauty ;)

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  21. i always compliment other women when i think they are wearing something cute. Hell, even if they just gave it a good A for effort. I've always said you looking bad doesn't make me look better. why wouldnt women want to compliment each other instead of being jealous haters?

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  22. I completely agree with this. I think women need to take their jealousy and turn it into happiness for other people.

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  23. this is perfect! the sad part is that it happens all the time.

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  24. Jealousy can make even the best and most beautiful UGLY!

    Thanks for dropping by my blog!

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  25. Thanks for your post. Imagine what women could accomplish if we joined together! Imagine how beautiful we would all look if we opened our hearts and closets ;)

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  26. Very well written. I have more male friends for a reason.. but as i make more and more international friends I realise there are women out there who can be genuinely happy for you! Its just hard to find.. but worth looking for!

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  27. Exactly! I wish there was more people out there that would just be happy with what they have. I don't have everything, but I am happy and I don't look down upon people who have less, or "hate" on people who have more.

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  28. My...unfortunately there are lots of women who are still insecure! It's really sad I think...
    Great weekend beautiful, enjoy your wonderful family!
    xo

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  29. I know exactly how you feel!

    colormenana.blogspot.com

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  30. Amen! How annoying! I love the Mean Girls reference too :)



    http://candyflosspersie.blogspot.com/

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  31. I really have nothing else to say! it's so true!
    Happy Sunday!
    Don't miss a gorgeous Christmas giveaway next week on Sweet as a Candy!

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  32. I hope you're having a great weekend.

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  33. Totally agree with this post. Love the mean girl reference!

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  34. I meant to say I hate people who judge, not have people who judge. LOL! Although I do have some people in my life who judge!

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  35. Totally agree. I have people who judge!

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  36. I stare at people a lot. But it's usually because I'm in a sleep deprived stupor or have gone to my Happy Place in my head.

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  37. Totally agree.

    A few (blog!) friends and I were actually having a similar conversation last night. We were talking about blog cattiness (isn't it silly that that even exists?!) and how it's because we're women.

    Sigh...

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  38. Competition are for the weaks, the girls who trust in their own power cannot see another woman like that. Hate when that happens :D

    Plus you are so beautiful, she wasn't checking only the accessories.

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  39. Gah...this sucks so much. I don't get why women have to tear each other down to try and feel better about themselves. All they're doing is shooting themselves in the foot, so to speak.

    Like you, I'm an athlete, so I've got a body I've worked hard for - but I've still gor confidence issues (who doesn't?) when it comes to wearing skimpy outfits, so I don't wear them often. I have a fairly vivid memory of finally building up enough confidence to put on a bikini at a pool party - and then as I got into the pool, this girl from way down on the other side of the party took one look at me and just screamed, for the entire group to hear, "Skinny BITCH!" And every single pair of eyes turned towards me and evaluated.

    That was a fun day.

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  40. Love this. NO ONE should ever put you down and make you feel less than who you are and who you are meant to be!

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  41. I wholeheartedly agree! It's amazing how women treat each other.

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  42. I agree fully with this...
    What's just as bad, is when you're NOT wearing things that are "good enough" for some people, and they give you dirty looks because of it... An example, I was going down to the gym in my building, and in the elevator there were two women (myself, and another woman). This woman was in a really nice outfit/work clothes, and I was in my sweats. Another woman gets on the elevator, and stares me up and down, GIVES ME A DIRTY LOOK like I was some pig or something, then says "have a nice day!" to the other woman. UGH. (And sometimes, we have bad days, and can't find anything that fits/is clean in the closet...*sigh*...)
    Either way, on both ends, women can be so judgemental... :( We all need more understanding and acceptance, because life is tough enough without having to worry about what other people are going to think about us.

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  43. I agree fully with this...
    What's just as bad, is when you're NOT wearing things that are "good enough" for some people, and they give you dirty looks because of it... An example, I was going down to the gym in my building, and in the elevator there were two women (myself, and another woman). This woman was in a really nice outfit/work clothes, and I was in my sweats. Another woman gets on the elevator, and stares me up and down, GIVES ME A DIRTY LOOK like I was some pig or something, then says "have a nice day!" to the other woman. UGH. (And sometimes, we have bad days, and can't find anything that fits/is clean in the closet...*sigh*...)
    Either way, on both ends, women can be so judgemental... :( We all need more understanding and acceptance, because life is tough enough without having to worry about what other people are going to think about us.

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  44. Hi! Thanks for visiting my 'place' today.
    I was looking through your blog and read this post.
    ...I could not have said it better. Drives me CRAZY that women can get like this (especially when it's a member of your own family...which is sad).
    My husband's had to hear me rant about this on countless occasions:).

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and comment! Hope you are having a great day!